Swinging or partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which both partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other couples as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to planned or regular social gatherings to coupling with like-minded couples at a swingers' club.
The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, regarded by some as arising from the upsurge in sexual activity during the sexual revolution of the 1960s, made possible by the invention of the contraceptive pill and the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period.
The term wife swapping, once considered to be equivalent to "swinging", is now criticized as being androcentric and not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which couples may take part, but the term continues in use, and reflects the origins of the concept whereby husbands were viewed as initiating an informal partner swap.
Reasons for Swinging
Couples engage in sexual activities with others for a variety of reasons, and the reasons are not necessarily the same for both partners. Some partners engage in these activities to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or for curiosity. Some regard such activities as social interactions. Others treat such activities as a means of satisfying their heightened sexual desires.
According to several studies, sexual habituation leads to changes in interaction with partners. At three to seven years into a marriage, it takes increased stimulation to produce the sexual excitation previously obtained by a glance or simple touch. A couple receptive to new and different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. Couples who find a way to reconnect physically and not emotionally are more likely to enjoy the lifestyle and the social interaction.
Swinging provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. Many swingers report that their relationships are strengthened through swinging, and say their sex lives are more intimate and satisfying. Jealousy can occur, but proponents of swinging assert that jealousy is mainly couples whose relationships were already unstable.
Modern Swinging
Though the origins of swinging are contested, but is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs.
It is highly recommended that swinging take place in a club environment for security reasons. To some extent, established clubs are associated in the North American Swing Club Association (www. nasca.com) an umbrella organization for swinging clubs to disseminate information about swinging across North America. Many Internet websites that cater for swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
Research
According to economic studies on swinging, the sexual revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in eliminating some of the barriers of swinging thus increasing the number of swingers. The economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers’ strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage in "harder" swinging, and that the search for new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers’ long-period well being. Both these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behavior
Hints for enjoying the Lifestyle
Those new to the lifestyle may be at a loss as to how to fit in, and may be nervous as well. This is common and quite natural.
- Don’t be bashful
- Communicate with other members
- “No” means “No”
- Enter the contests
- Dress to impress
What if I run into someone I know?
Most people who have been in the lifestyle for a while have a story about the first time they ran into someone they knew at an event or a club. Almost all of these "encounters" are very humorous. We had an Aunt meet her Niece at a party, after the initial freak-out, they had a wonderful evening. Most people relax when they realize that the other people attend the club for the same reasons and have the same discretion that you do.
Orgy or what?
Sexual activities are not planned by the club and members are never required to participate in any activity. Members plan their own spontaneous sexual activities, fantasies and encounters and can be as varied as the people involved, however these activities are always consensual and mutually desired.
What should I expect?
The Cottage, known for providing a relaxed and friendly atmosphere to meet people and socialize. The music, dancing, facilities, and bar are similar to any other nightclub. As the evening progresses, you are likely to see the women change into lingerie or club wear.
Swingers Etiquette
I. If you came with someone then leave with him or her, unless prior arrangements are made. It is not socially acceptable, especially woman, to come with a mate then leave him to party as a single.
II. We cannot stress proper grooming enough. Breath to body odor, please be considerate of others. First impressions are difficult to forget and most likely a bad first impression is not conducive to have a second chance..
III. NO Means NO! Don't take it personally! Be perceptive about the other persons intentions. The "no thank you" you receive may not be personal nor may it be a no - never. It may be a no thank you (not at this moment). A bad reaction to this response will make sure that it becomes a NO - NEVER! A bad reaction to no could also get you removed from the "party". If you are the person saying no, try to be courteous but be firm. You do not have to defend nor explain your no. You should however, be polite. Also if you are the person saying no, try not to mislead - don't say "maybe later" if you really mean no.
IV. Don't take someone to a swing party that does not know what they are attending. The idea (especially among guys) that if I just get my significant other to a party then they will join in is dishonest and few people react well to it. Be prepared for the consequences.
V. NO Illegal substances! The use, sale, purchase, transfer, possession of any controlled or illegal substance while on club premises, is strictly prohibited.
The Lifestyle and your health
Sexually transmitted diseases are extremely uncommon among swingers. In fact, many couples confine their sexual recreation to club parties for this reason. Ensure you know your prospective partners(s) well before engaging in sexual activities. Do not be reluctant to require your partners to use condoms.