The dictionary defines swinging as "The practice of swapping sex partners" and a swinger as "A person who engages freely in uninhibited sex". Both answers can be true but do not necessarily have to be. The first answer would be viewed by most swingers as a bit limiting. A long time swinging couple recently told one of our staff, "I make love to my husband - I fuck other people!" While this description is very simplistic, most swingers would agree.

Those new to the lifestyle may be at a loss as to how to fit in, and may be nervous as well This is common and quite natural. It is the responsibility of the club, hosts, or the person or couple bringing someone new to acquaint them with the structure of the party. They should also introduce newcomers to others and help them to become involved in conversation. Beyond this, the responsibility for fitting into and enjoying the party is yours.

I. If you are a couple, stay together until you feel comfortable about being apart, but don't cling to one another as it will work to prevent others from approaching you.

II. If there is general disrobing, or slipping into more revealing clothing then try to go with it. Though you may remain fully clothed and be accepted, changing into something more revealing will help you to become involved. It serves to make you more accessible physically and socially. Also you may find yourself feeling a little more open and less nervous about the whole event if you are in the proper "costume."

III. Communication between a couple is of paramount importance. Be open with each other about your feelings. Do not allow yourself to harbor feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or other uncomfortable feelings.

IV. Don't be reluctant to ask questions of other guests. Swingers are interested in new people and are generally eager to answer questions about swinging.

V. Try to leave your inhibitions at home. That doesn't mean you have to go wild, but sexual and social inhibitions will most likely interfere with your swinging pleasure. Many people we know who are exteremly prim, proper, and reserved outside of swing activities find it very liberating to be able to "let their hair down" occasionally. Most find it a great turn-on to be able to act more freely in a safe environment.

VI. Be friendly and open to the advances of others. Even if you don't intend to play there is no reason to be rude or cold. The person you may not want to play with may be a great person who could become a good friend.

First let's ask a basic question. Why do you want to swing? Nothing about the lifestyle will fix a broken relationship. If you are experiencing problems in your relationship those problems will most likely be compounded by swinging. Communication within a relationship is a very crucial part of the experience. Try to trick or surprise your spouse into going to a swing club and the person surprised will likely to be you. We've had couples show up at the front door with one of the two thinking they were going to a "new place" with no idea of what that meant. Bad form my friend, bad form! 

Discuss it up front, show them this site, and you might still be surprised at the outcome but for a much more positive reason. Most couples we've talked to say that it's usually the man that pushes, cajoles or convinces the woman to try swinging or to go to a swing club. That said, it's usually the woman who is the first to ask when the couple is going back!

Many women find it liberating to flirt all they want and if they say no in the end that's OK. It's probably the one time in a womans life when she can act like a "slut" and have that not be a bad thing! In other words she can act like a guy and most women find that liberating if not empowering.

This IS real, and we have a ball at it thank you very much! You can expect to find just about anyone at a lifestyle event. Those you meet in the lifestyle are a true cross section of society.

Most people who have been in the lifestyle for a while have a story about the first time they ran into someone they knew at an event or a club. Almost all of these "encounters" are funny.  We even had an Aunt meet her Niece at a party, after the initial freak-out, they had a great night and have been back many times! Most people relax when they realize that the other person is there for the same reason they are and expects the same discretion that you do.

Not unless you and your friends want it that way, plan it, and let everyone coming to your event know that is what is happening. The sexual activity engaged in by swingers can be as varied as the people involved. Everything, however, is always consentual

Most Clubs are relaxed places with music, dancing, social areas, food and refreshment, in general like any other nightclub. Venture into a club early in the evening and you would be hard-pressed to tell it from any other place. As the evening progresses you are likely to see the women excuse themselves to "change" into other clothes. These other clothes usually involve lingerie or other sexy outfits. A friend calls this the "bewitching hour." The dancing usually get a little more adult at this point and things progress from there. Basically little to NO sexual activity happens or is permitted in the main areas. Quite a few of the women and a lot of the guys feel that the flirting here is some of the sexiest memories they have. Whether a couple or a single does any more than this is totally up to them. In all swing environments, NO MEANS NO! Basically "NO" can come at any part of the evening or at any stage of activity by anyone and it will always honored.

In addition to standard rules of Etiquette usually referred to as Common Curtesy we feel that the following will help you get into the "swing" of things:

I. If you came with someone then leave with them, unless prior arrangements have been made. It is not socially acceptable, especially for the woman, to come with a mate then leave him to party as a single.

II. We can not stress proper grooming enough. From your breath to body odor please be considerate of others. It is tough to undo a first impression and most likely a bad first impression will not facilitate receiving a chance to make a second impression.

III. NO Means NO! Don't take it personally - and try to be perceptive about the other persons intentions. The "no thank you" you receive may not be personal nor may it be a no - never. It may be a no thank you (not at this moment). A bad reaction to this response will make sure that it becomes a NO - NEVER! A bad reaction to no could also get you removed from the "party". If you are the person saying no, try to be courteous but be firm. You do not have to defend nor explain your no. You should however, be polite. Also if you are the person saying no, try not to mislead - don't say "maybe later" if you really mean no.

IV. There are terms for someone who brings another person to a swing party just so they can get in and none of those terms are good. These terms, such as "ticket" refer to someone who goes to a swing party just to get someone else in but has no intention of swinging themselves. Don't do it! - no matter how discreet or clever you are people in the lifestyle will see through it and will not appreciate it. Just be honest - it will get you further and leave people with a better impression of you.

V. Don't take someone to a swing party that doesn't know what they are getting into. The idea (especially among guys) that if I just get my significant other to a party then they will join in is dishonest and few people react well to it. If you try it, be prepared to duck! All joking aside most people deal poorly with being fooled and will think less of you for it later.

VI. NO Illegal substances! We are not passing judgement here, just saying that it is unfair to subject your host to criminal prosecution for your actions. Even if the party is at your place some of your guests may not appreciate being subjected to the illegal substance not to mention the possible legal repercussions.

Don'ts

Don't assume people are into the same things that you are.

Don't act like you are the most attractive person in the room.

Don't kiss and tell (basically respect others privacy and wont for discretion)

Don't be pushy

Don't be a permanent "first timer"

Don't be afraid to ask questions

Don't be afraid or reluctant to say NO.

Sexually transmitted diseases are extremely uncommon among swingers. In fact, many couples confine their outside sexual recreation to lifestyle club parties for this reason. If you suspect that you have had an STD contact you should seek medical attention. AIDS is a reality in todays world and proper precautions should be taken. Getting to know your prospective partners(s) well before playing is another caution that many people practice. Do not be reluctant to ask someone to use or to have you use a condom. If they are turned on to you they will not mind

Many men who swing have vasectomies, but the overall responsibility for birth control is the woman's. She should discuss the best method of birth control with her doctor, and be responsible for using it when swinging.